This morning I woke up in a new decade, and suddenly, I am okay with it. For some reason, I have been feeling a little 'weird' (for lack of a better word) around this birthday. I don't really have any rational reasonings around this feeling, just that this is the way I have been feeling.
When we were younger, thirty felt so, dare I say, o-l-d: it was a daunting number that suddenly put you in a different...decade. There were a certain amount of life goals you were to have accomplished, lofty plans for a future- and I suppose, you were supposed to be, an adult.
I will tell you one thing for sure, I am still trying to figure out what being an adult really means. Do you actually ever figure this out? I still like riding bikes, running fast, climbing trees, staying up late and going to bed early- playing with toys, making lots of noise- I am still a little afraid of the dark, hate rodents and spiders- but maybe this is what becoming an adult is about, recognizing that you don't every really grow up- and that you don't actually have to: you can always be you, maybe just with a few more bills and responsibilities.
My twenties were filled with many memories, lessons, and sleepless nights. I married my best friend, have three beautiful children, faced adversities and fears, ran my first and other marathons, accomplished a half ironman- twice! Twenties have been busy to say the least- a decade for the books I feel they began a young girl and ended a woman growing more comfortable in her own skin each and every day.
I am looking forward to my thirties. I think my twenties were so jam packed that now, it's time to enjoy the time, raise our family and continue to fill the memory bank. Don't get me wrong- I know there will be nothing quiet about our home...but moving away from diapers will be a start ;-)
The other day, while trying to fit into a pair of my jeans, I was getting angry at myself for not feeling as good as I wished I had....better said, not looking as good. I quickly stopped myself- and I can honestly say this was likely the first time I felt the following- I am the only one who notices if the scale is a few pounds plus or a few minus. That more time enjoying my family, my friends and/or myself is WAY more valuable than more time at the gym. That these love handles have been harder to achieve than that oh so desired six pack- they have housed three babies- lasting memories.
I know that I will set goals...and achieve them. That I will run more marathons and chip away at other bucket list items that have nothing to do with running shoes. That the scale will move- in either direction from time to time. And that sometimes its the little things that matter most- and others times that matter the least.
Gaining years really is about gaining perspective- and I really am happy with who I am and all I have accomplished.
So in the words of a wise man, Tim McGraw ;-)
"I think I'll take a moment and celebrate my age
The ending of an era
And the turning of a page....
Lord have mercy on my next 30 years"
Thirty- I have arrived~
